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So lately I've had the feeling that I've been getting really desperate with men. I'm doing the kind of behavior that I usually laugh at other women for doing; constantly checking my email for messages from a guy, texting him, constantly trying to get their attention, repeatedly stalking them on facebook to see if they've changed anything on their profile.

It's sad really. When did I become so needy?

It really is a sign that I need to work on myself.

I haven't been in any sort of real relationship in over a year and I miss it. I so badly miss having someone who I can share all my secrets with, call my best friend, have crazy sex with, cuddle with, laugh with. I want someone who I can always call and talk about my day. I want somebody who will support me and be proud of me.

The more that I try to date and find that, the more I realize that I took my last relationship for granted. I focused too much on little things and not on the big picture. M was a great friend and an awesome boyfriend. He did everything to make me happy, but I let my insecurities get in the way.

I guess what I need to learn from this is to appreciate a good thing when you have it. If I'm lucky enough to have something with someone like that again, I won't let him go.

Currently feeling: sick

Posted by bisoubisou08 at 03:23 AM on September 3, 2009. Comment!